LitDra 's Blog

Counting the time…

litdra — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 08:22:44 +0000

I just have had one semester left at CSUF with 1 class – the most challenging and difficult one: BUAD 591. My professor has great reputation of high requirements from students and assigning heavy work load in each class attendance. And I still work about 13 hours per day, from 8am – 10:15pm. Then everything would be done… However, the closer to the finishing day, the worrier I feel… 4 months would fly fast, faster than I can imagine… What I have done during last 3 years…I don’t know… Haven’t left the school yet, but feel attached more to everything here: TSU where I used to be overnight to prepare for finals; Student Recreation Center held my heat beats for workout time with Yoga classes and Dance classes; the ugly Polak Library when I hid myself before tests… every tree, every green-land I passed by always changes clothes to renew themselves everyday…; flowers are everywhere during 4 seasons… Mihaylo Builing where all of my classes have been taking place has occupied my student life most… Room 2317 and computer lab where I have worked as a lab assistant – an easy job giving me time to study and chances to earn money… The thing I hate most about this school is increasing fee every semester… He he he, everybody hates it, just blame for the fact that we are not back to school at the good time point of the US!!!

CSUF - This is the place where I live, breathe, eat and sleep what I’m doing. I has been struggling with projects and paper then would be happy when I can get rid of all “nightmare stuff”. This is the first place I came…and also the first place from where I start… Still stay here for 4 months, but miss you already…

Tomorrow is the first day of my last class. It is like one way ticket: Finish and then leave school forever. So, I will try my best to get over this final study challenge…

No one else

litdra — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 06:48:15 +0000

A touching love song … I feel my heart softer when listening to this. The singer’s voice is so warm and emotional, creating more effects to audiences. In this world, how many people are lucky enough to find their true love… I’m still on the way…

Somebody says only loves in songs or movies are beautiful because they are results of music composers and film directors’ imagination, and life is not beds of roses… but I believe beautiful songs originate from the real life… There is a love with 2 candidates only trying to take advantage of each other, but there are still couples sacrificing spiritually and materially for each other out there. So just be optimistic, look forward, and hope all the best - for You and Me!

Sounds…

litdra — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 08:45:37 +0000

I visited Niagara Falls one year ago but at that time, I had no camera to take any pics due to my absent-mindedness. This time returning to the Falls, I still kept my first impression: so amazing, fantastic - the most wonderful Natural Beauty I have seen in my life. While on board to get closer and closer to the Falls, listening the birds’ clapping wings, bird songs to call each other, watching the bank covered by white feathers, I just felt I was so tiny creature among those making natural noises out there. Then the first Fall on American side gradually showed up with mists and thunder sounds, and yes, can’t say any words, it is really a gift the Great Mother Nature gave this earth!

So much rains, a white thick water curtain was covering my world. And I couldn’t open my eyes. Then no rains any more, just turned my back and a great white wall was in front of me! This is called Horseshoe Fall on Canada side. How can such a beauty exist in this planet!!!

It seemed that spirit of the pretty Indian Maiden in an ancient legend still hang about and attached the falls, giving her forever youth strength to the Falls, and silently saved many lives unfortunately falling into the Falls.

A rainbow appeared under brilliant sunshine. I sent there my wishes, my desire to make my dream come true. This would be my unforgettable experience forever! I just look forward some day I can have a chance to stand on Canada side to contemplate the whole view of Horseshoe Fall and to feel that I have completed my life…

Now is a man-made sound. Not like the natural sound, even though it also has thunders in the background music of God Bless the U.S.A, creating a lively splendid scene, it could make agitated souls become peace and join to wriggle streams…

MỆT QUÁ NÈ TRỜI !!!

litdra — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:13:47 +0000

Trùi ơi, sao mà cái công cuộc dọn bàn học sau một học kỳ mệt ơi là mệt thế này không biết ?!!! Ước gì giấy tờ tự biết phân loại, một đám tự hủy, một đám tự động chui vào folder cần thiết và nhảy vào cái thùng trống nào đó, mark “this property belongs to Nga” thì tốt biết mấy!!! Phụ huynh sắp tới rồi, càng phải tích cực dọn! Híc!!!

Weddings…

litdra — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 20:23:31 +0000

The British Royal Wedding between Prince William (William Arthur Philip Louis – wow, how long it is!), Duke of Cambridge, and Catherine Middleton, took placed 2 days ago. I had dinner out with my roommate after class and we just wanted to be back home asap to see the wedding broastcasted online. Well, we had to wait until 3am to see the bride showing up. Thanks to an assigment I got (translating some documents to submit my Prudential financialist), I could stay up that late and finished my translation, even though I had to show up in my office at 9am, too. Yes, they made the story and the world has had a new royal legend. Look their happy faces during the Wedding Ceremony – we could see how much they felt lucky to find and have each other in this life. And today is my friend’s wedding. She is one of first friends I have had in the U.S. I saw her life improving from an international student just came here to find a chance to be a Grad student in CSUF, sharing an appartment room with 4 other people, to a happy one finding the other half of her life to get married and settling down here . Just want to use songs for the Royal weddings as a celebration to my you - Vincent Van and Chau (Tran Nguyen Bao Chau – long name too:-) ).

HAPPY WEDDINGS! HAPPY FOREVER!

Happy and Sad

litdra — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 05:36:48 +0000

I have a successful presentation yesterday. The requirement was challenging: finding something wrong in the book Bank Management by Timothy Koch or from the Professor’s lecture to make an argument. I had obsessed with this requirement, was always in a worry that I couldn’t find any and would be failed for this class. Unbelievable – how could it happen for a Grad student taking an undergrad class!!! But actually it was so difficult to me. I read continuously, just tried my best to find a point, taking advantage of any time during my shifts in the lab room to read and read, think and think. Actually I came up with some ideas one month ago, but they were not strong enough to be arguments! It was the real world and I had no idea about how a real US bank would work. My banking knowledge was messed up. Nothing clear…I was almost hopeless until 12pm yesterday because I couldn’t find any evident to support my argument. Stressful. Very high concentration. When I decided to give up, the first data and info appeared on the screen after many efforts to search…I felt that I was rescued! I spent a lot of time, put a lot of mind, just for 5-minute presentation!

After the presentation, I ate out with my roommate to relax. I studied very hard during last two days under the pressure of the big banking project due and the individual presentation. So happy because a heavy day with a lot of pressure finally passed.

But later, I felt sad… It’s hard to recover the trust from an important one to you… I’m so busy with school and work, just thought that there was someone who can understand and support me. But I’m wrong.

Happiness and Sadness are just two states – but they switch so fast. Happy today and Sad tomorrow…and the following day…happy or sad…

What is a manager gonna do…

litdra — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:38:12 +0000

Well, it’s not my responsibility to analyze a company which always mess up. I have worked for my company almost 2 years, seeing it growing from a small area with only 4 part time employees to a bigger one with 12 employees (10 part-time and 2 full-time). An amazing thing is that it can grow bigger and bigger even though it has many problems. And my boss – a 30 year-old young and smart guy – has been trying some way to get everything on the right track. However, it’s really a tough job. We have a manager but he is gradually overwhelmed by a bunch of un-named duties and responsibilities – maybe one day he would escape as some people did before.

What are main issues and how can such a company be managed?

1. Inventory: We can’t control inventory well now. We are just a small company selling stuff on eBay. Amazon is a big business – what have they done to control their stock? Are their supplies reliable and stable? And their warehouse should be much much bigger but they can still control. My boss tried to write a software to control inventory but it doesn’t work effectively. He has a master degree in IT, he can do better if he has more time to make it more adaptable to his expanding business. But he has no time. Buying inventory control software was considered but no software can meet his requirements. As a result, problems relating to inventory have never been solved.

What can an employer do in this case?

2. Costs/Expenses: I believe the most expense would be in inventory. We can see expenses arising everywhere, from the items can’t be shipped due to many reasons such as shipping staffs’ negligence, broken problems, redundancy, out-of-date devices, and so on, to mistakes continuously taking place in every sections/departments. More mistakes, more time and money waste. How to prevent mistakes? Like my boss said, we should do everything right at the beginning. The beginning starts from controlling supplies, which is beyond his ability. Therefore, now he changed the strategy: “we can’t do things right at the beginning, so an excellent customer service would solve any consequences”. I don’t think it is a good idea, ’cause it takes time to keep track cases, wastes a lot of money which wouldn’t if we do things right from the beginning, and discourages people because no one like running after every mistake to solve it.

Recently monthly wages/salaries have been considered as a significant cost, effecting the business profit. A lot of money has been spent on labor but nothing can’t be improved. When sales is going down, this issue shows up clearer. As a result, a strategy of outsourcing customer service team abroad (Asia) has been deployed because Asian workers are smart guys, have good English language, a lot of free time to keep track problems and a high spirit of self-study. Especially, they are willing to accept a payment which equals to one-third of that of a part-time employee in the U.S. That means, with a payment for one staff here, the boss can hire 3 people in Philippine. Yeah, Asia countries have advantage of cheap labor, but in this case, I don’t believe that oursourcing customer service abroad is a good solution. Only companies with reliable and stable systems can do that, but not this company. We depends very much on eBay Blackthorn , Dazzle systems, and operations of U.S carriers such as USPS and Fedex. If they don’t work well, 100 staffs abroad can be nothing and it would be a big waste.

What are managers often do to reduce the expense? Re-organizing the warehouse to make it more effective (how?), re-structuring the human resource (lay off some employees but who will be cut because most of us work part-time ; re-arrange working schedules – maybe, and it is an easiest way, setting up a reasonable reward and punishment policy – not easy, cause we don’t have any system to keep track and evaluate employee’s productivity); assign a real power to manager – by what way?) …

Cont…

Last Sunday of Feb 2011…

litdra — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 06:30:22 +0000

It’s was darker and darker in Fullerton – 6:18pm in Fullerton… I had have a full Sunday at home – the only day during a week I don’t have to go to work – A rare day I’m at home ’cause I often go out every Sunday for hiking, for visiting somewhere or some people.

Sinking myself in school stuff – yes I have to study for a midterm on Monday – and in songs I like…, then cooking for myself – prepare food for a whole busy week…My mum will visit me next May, but I haven’t prepared anything for her procedure and her trip…Just think about one day I will see her after 3 years, wow, we may cry and then may smile…can’t wait until that moment…

My health is not as good as before – even though I haven’t been seriously sick during almost 3 years. Sometimes I thought I almost died because of being exhausted – but I didn’t know why I could still overcome….Maybe I did do exercise a lot in the past and saved my health to waste now…How about the future…no health saving for the future ’cause it has been used up so far…the first thing I have done is asking for stopping teaching every Saturday morning at Generation 2000 School in Westminster. I really don’t want this but that’s the only way I can do for my health…I will miss my students – Becky Trinh, Kelly Trinh, Phong La, Long Van, Oanh, Davis, Kevin, and… will return the school to visit them when I have time. And maybe I will get back to teach some day when feeling better with my health.

Ay ya, back to my study, good luck tomorrow, LitDra!

Empty

litdra — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 09:52:17 +0000

Someone gets back. A relationship is retrieved. In exchange, I hurt someone else. Empty mind. Empty heart. I don’t know what I’m doing now…

I still work very hard everyday. A lot people around, but no one can fill my vacant head… Feel so sad and really worry for myself. Keep doing like this way, keep living like this … Is it a good choice…

Sometimes I just recognize that enjoying the food I love or seeing a boy’s smile when he can understand what I have taught him makes me feel my life more meaningful… Feel warm because sometimes I know how to treat well to myself and because I’m giving my hand to others…

I’m looking for happiness…sometimes it is just very simple…like the food I made for myself yesterday (I haven’t eaten it for 3 years!!!) and like a smile of my student today…

Time flies fast. Just count my tiny happiness each day and hope that I have more days full filled with happiness than empty days…

Enjoying an old song…

litdra — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:41:31 +0000

I knew this song when I was very young, when my mind was clear like a paper, didn’t know what love was but loved this song so so so much. It was not only because of the fact that I was a fan of John Lennon, but also because of the simple melody, beautiful lyrics and the warm voice by the super famous singer.

Now, listening to it again, I seemed to touch my feelings from the old times. “Oh my love for the first time in my life…”

Alright, let stop being romantic and return to reality. My school will start next week and I just have 2 classes for this semester. Next semester would cover one capstone left but maybe I will consider taking an extra class. Then I would be all done! Yayyyyy!

Anyway, “Oh my love for the first time in my life… my eyes can see…”

Let the past over…

litdra — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 07:15:19 +0000

It’s long time to open my old memory. Going around. Has just known that the old person got married more than 1 year ago… Very surprised in couple minutes but later on, I feel happy for him… Finally, he has a happy ending story…There was a time I thought what I should do if I went back and saw him…and what I should say to him after a long time not seeing each other. Sometimes I felt sorry for his mother – a very old and kind lady. I was not a good one when leaving without saying to her anything – that’s the most important thing making me worried and my sudden leaving would affect her health…But it looks like nothing is serious as I have imagined. They have a happy family and she might be happier with a new family member. A burden was put down. Wish you and your wife happiness and the best! I would say hi to you if I saw you again!

Good news for a new year!!!

Last entry for 2010!

litdra — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 21:01:38 +0000

One more year is passing on my hands…and I have another in the U.S. Almost 3 years living far away from my beloved family, I stepped out the shadow of the heavy past covered my life. How to confront with the future is the most chanlenging… Right now, I’m trying to forget him, which is difficult too, even though I believe I can do that. Life has given me new friends, especially a person to love but days by days, I couldn’t keep all of them staying with me… Everyone I had a chance to know is a part of my fate. They came and left…that’s life!

What is the plan for future? Finish my stuff at school, try to find a dream job to make use what I have learnt here and earn some money to start my real career… Is it too late to do? But they say nothing is too late, provided that you know how to start from today… Don’t give up, LitDra! U can do it!

There are still couple hours for the new year 2011 to knock my door…May my dream come true… Wish all of my friends sucess and happiness in the new year 2011. Wish friends I haven’t known and read this entry by chance a fantastic New Year Eve and a wonderful new year ahead… If you are in a fire with your loved ones, hope you can forgive, forget and find a reason, a chance to stay close to each other…

Christmas Eve…At home alone :-(

litdra — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 23:48:48 +0000

This is the first Christmas in the U.S I’m at home alone. Last Christmas, I had a good time with friends, going around to see people decorating their houses, sparkling lights along local roads…This Noel, just me and …my laptop. My house is empty. Other housemates and roommates went back their home countries or visited their relatives here. Sometimes I feel jealous with them, cause they can enjoy family atmospheres, while I’m always alone… When I was very young, my parents were too busy at work and didn’t have much time for me even though they loved me so much. I was alone, learning by myself at school, at home and dealing with life difficulties by myself too. When I graduated from universities, I was still alone in a 3 storey-house. I went to work at day and returned home at night, cooked for myself and had dinner with my own. Then I just stayed in one room of one storey, leaving others in the dark. Many people asked me whether I felt scared when living like that. I told them “No” cause I was familiar with such a life. I didn’t want a lonely life but I couldn’t find anyone who could share his life with me. Couldn’t find anyone. There was a time I thought I found someone, but I was wrong. He always left me alone. My life didn’t change anything since I knew him. That was the past story. My life later in the U.S has been different. I have had much more friends here than I did in my country. However, loneliness always goes with me. It has become a habit when I gradually withdraw from many friend gathering occasions. I understand it has been my nature and directed my life to loneliness world. I can change, but I haven’t tried to change because I wonder whether I’m still feel lonely even though I’m in the middle of friends. Mostly it is a “yes”…

Deep in my heart is there still a desire to find my second half to help me escape a thick loneliness layer covering my life, but it is too difficult, and too far…Life is so busy, people take it as an excuse not to care each other…

Only me in the room. Complete Silence. Around. No people talk. Just hearing the breath of the Christmas Eve – Cold and Distant.

I know the new year is coming and my heart is full of worries. Worries for my unclear future. And I have to make decisions alone. As usual.

Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS!!!

:-) I’m taking back my love, oh yeah!

litdra — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 20:04:19 +0000

I’m so sad and watching this clip and OMG, it makes me feel better, a little smile on my face, because at least, I don’t throw anything. He just gave me a little cute Panda and I can’t throw my Panda into fire… Smiling also because of the comments of viewers for this clip! Oh yeah! Good luck on your finals tomorrow, LitDra!

Red One
Ciara
Enrique

Enrique Iglesias

Go ahead, just leave. Can’t hold you, you’re free
You take all these things, if they mean so much to you
I gave you your dreams ’cause you meant the world
So did I deserve to be left here hurt
You think I don’t know
You’re out of control
I ended up finding all of this from my boys
Girl you’re stone cold
You say it ain’t so
You already know I’m not attached to material

I give it all up, but I’m taking back my love,
I’m taking back my love,
I’m taking back my love,
I’ve given you too much,
but I’m taking back my love,
I’m taking back my love, my love, my love, my love, my love

Ciara

What did I do? But give love to you
I’m just confused as I stand here and look at you, from head to feet. All that’s not me
Go ahead keep the keys, that’s not what I need from you

You think that you know
(I do)
You made yourself cold
(oh yeah)
How could you believe them over me I’m your girl
You’re out of control
(so what)
How could you let go
(oh yeah)
Don’t you know I’m not attached to material
Enrique Iglesias and Ciara

Enrique Iglesias: So all this love, I gave you take it away

Ciara: You think material’s the reason I came

Enrique Iglesias: If I had nothing would u want me to stay?

Ciara: You keep your money take it all away

Enrique Iglesias and Ciara

And here is an interesting version of WE ARE THE WORLD! It makes me think bigger, deeper. There are still a lot of things I have to complete rather than sinking myself in the ocean of sadness… He was my dream and it’s gone. I have waken up and will be back to my first plan when I came here…

Sad…

litdra — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 14:03:09 +0000

Studying very hard in the lab room of TSU, but I can’t hide my sadness, can’t throw my disapointedness and tears into books and notes… I know finals are coming… I know I have done a good job in this semester so far …but in exchange my dream has gone… it hurts cause in my heart does it still exit…but I have to let it go cause it does not belong to me….! I’m giving up…